She Almost Ate My Heart ...... But Why Though ?!?

All my life i have always had the same point of reference when it comes to the fairer sex , women in general i might add. You would ask me what is this reference i do speak about ....? It is my first contact with Love , thats what i thought it was anyway at the time as it shaped my future encounters with women.So many females will read this and say ...... NOT ALL OF US ARE LIKE THAT OR I WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING.

I had a girlfriend i dated 14 to 13 years ago and this lady was my girlfriend for almost 2 years. We were inseparable me and her , if i was somewhere she would be with me or if i went somewhere without her people would be like ... here is SO n SO who is dating So n So . Even when one of us was away from the other, people still saw us together. We were like twins, me and this girl ( my other Half as i would say at the time ) . The thing about us was that we had been dating for almost two whole years but not once did we ever have sex. We just kissed and touched one another there and there , I'm sure you know what i mean. My friends use to ask me why i wasn't having sex with her and i would say " No, we in no rush because we love each other and  we will wait for when the time is right " that was me being naive and all. They would say ( my friends that is ) you must be mad because she will meet some guy who will sleep with her in a day after meeting her and i would say " you okes are crazy Matilda loves me and she would never do such " ... damn was i wrong.

Things changed between me and Matilda when me and my friend Brian decided to visit a mutual friend we had at his house which was in an area called Thembani in the outskirts of Cape Town. We had to take a Bus to see our mutual friend Eric , it was a friday afternoon after we had all comeback from school. We got off the bus and started walking to Eric's residents , as we were walking we were talking about how cool Eric was that, at that age he had his own room outside his house ( which we called iFlat ) an when it came to the ladies he had no competition. To us Eric was a living legend anyway we got to Eric's house and knocked on his Room door and waited for his reply .... after a minute or so,  Eric comes out of his room with a big smile greeting us and telling us that , what a lovely surprise that we had come to visit him. Then after all the pleasantry he tells us to wait abit because he had a girl in his Glorious pad , as we were waiting for him to come out, me and Brian were talking ,wondering who he had in his room this time?! ... as we were talking Eric comes out saying lets wait for the girl because she was still getting dressed inside. So i asked him who is it this time and he was so nonchalant in his reply, which made him sound even cooler he said its just a girl he had met last week in claremont and we were like wow and you already screwing her, amazing here we had a legend of our time while he was still speaking the female came out , to my Horror it was my Girlfriend of two years my Matilda , my better half the Female i was waiting for to be ready and the weird part of the whole thing is that nun of us said anything , Me , Brian and Matilda played along like we did not know one another. So she walks out and Eric is like lets walk her to the bus stop and so we did , on our way there Eric was talking non-stop and we were all listening to him , when i do think about it, i think we were all shocked. We got to the bus stop she got a bus home, we chilled with Eric a bit and also left for home. When i got home i ate my supper and thought of what had just happened and yes i was angry , yes i shed a tear for that girl, it was painful to find out that people are cruel out there. In the morning i woke up went to my friends and i was getting the we told you so look from my friends ( this idiot Brian told everyone ) .... the great thing about it all is that we laughed about it which made it a bit better , i am not saying that the pain stopped but them ( my friends ) making fun of me made the pain bearable. While still hanging with my friends my soon to be ex girlfriends cousin comes to me giving me a letter and I'm like whats this and she says its a letter from Matilda saying she is sorry and I'm like ok. I left my friends and went home to read the letter ... all the letter said was how sorry she was and she would never do that again ... all i was sorry about was her poor grammar , punctuation and spelling in the letter.I called her the same day telling her we could never be and she had betrayed me because i loved her. That was that me and my better half were no longer together two years down the drain because she couldn't be faithful.

So after this unfortunate incident in my life i decided i should be weary or be more careful when it comes to the fairer sex. I believe not all women are the same but 99.9 % of them are the same if i use my point of reference when i look at them. Now ask yourself how would you be towards the gender that caused you what i went through ....... ?


ALL THE CHARACTERS IN THE ABOVE PIECE HAD THEIR NAMES CHANGED TO PROTECT THEIR PRIVACY.  

Social Whore...... the need to be SEEN .....

Being a social whore is exhausting look at this shit now I'm so tired after partying and making appearances in
all these social hangout spots. It was only a long weekend but nooo i just had to go all out.

Friday was fun all normal and ish went to work and all, went through the emotional battering i get from my Boss who seems like she gets off from making me feel shitty ( GodBless the coloured foke ) anyway after work met up with Ondela ( odz ) and Neo (Newza) at a place which i frequently visit in Long street called Neighbourhood. Auw i enjoy being in this place the vibe and the people that gather in this watering hole (just spot on) but the plan was to have a drink or two then head home but noooo as usual when you don't plan ishh it actually works out the Best. So i had my first drink of the night which was pineapple juice nc nc nc but after many stares and groans from my fellow booze bingers i had to conform and change my beverage of choice for the night. So it was Heineken Drafts for the night .... ow i ended up meeting some of my tweeter followers yeses those people have the best personalities ... and i've met my fair share of depth less tweeter people. We had mad fun the trending Topic of the night was  " Iplate yase Rankini enyanga enegravy " ha ha ha i'd never eat that shit ..... Samp and Beetroot in the same plate should be a dish served in Hell. After all this we went to Long street cafe not my kinder vibe but i had to come along because Newza says Neighbourhood plays music you cant even hear... so we had to hit it Kasi style .... Ok we were drunk and it was ok at Longstreet Cafe...... took a Cab Home and that was my friday.

Saturday just went into full swing as i woke up all tired and ish but knew that i had a Soccer game to play. So i went to the soccer field at 2PM only to be told that the game will only start at 5.30PM and i was like what the Fuckery. The game did eventually start and we did win ... but i did get two cuts on my lips ... ( ended with Nigger Lips ) after all this soccer bullshit i went home took a wash and my friend luande came through. We were to hit town again but i had to make another appearance at another watering hole called CASH , this place is where the working class that act like they dont work hang. People put up the strangest Facades in this place you'd swear its Taboo to be employed but it wasnt that bad as i drank the most Popular Beer among Black Capetonians currently what Odz calls ( Donkey Urine ) Castle Lite. When i started drinking this Beer a Few months ago it was all in the Name of drinking and not getting drunk well somebody lied because castle Light gets you sloshed. So appearance made drunk as usual i had to board my friends land craft and head home all drunk .... so Saturday gone.

Then Sunday came .... flip woke up with the worst hang over ever ( the i will never drink again kinder ) but i was very happy in a way because i was going to watch Manchester United and i wasnt playing on the day. So i get an Sms from Multichoice telling me that they have suspended my Dstv account due to no payment. Jumped out of bed in that shitty weather the rain belting down like the gods in heaven were crying. Got to Shoprite paid the account only to be told that they will only reconnect my Dstv after 24 Hours FUUUUUCCCKKK i scream in my Mind. So i end up calling my former coach who is my friend Vido asking him is his Team playing and then he says yes .. i leave to go watch his team play because i could not stay at home , i had no television for the day. I get to the field rain pouring now i was thinking the Gods were taking a long piss over Cape Town after a night out boozing ( thats how bad and heavy the rain down pour was ) anyway to my horror Vido tells me they dont have enough players and i should play for Fucks sake is the guy insane. But i budged i ended up playing in that rainy weather and i did get a swollen ankle for my trouble after all this and being beaten 5 goals to 1 i went home soaking wet from Temple to Toe. Took a wash and waited for luande as we were to go to my friend SK's sister 21st , Luande came and we started at his place ... started watching soccer there and i had a Beer . So now i had to make an appearance at the 21st but i didnt stay long because luande has turned into a woman ever since he stopped drinking ( what a Wanker ) i had a bottle of johnnie walker black all by myself in his car while we were chilling parked outside the party. I got bored from making small talk with a sober person as i was getting sloshed. So i had to head home because i was drunk and bored.

Aaaargh Monday came and as usual i had a mother of all hangovers and i had to play a soccer match. So i laboured out of bed thinking that i have got to find a cure fast for my hangover , luckily i got a call from my mother that she bought some Grub ..... ( Heaven Sent ) i go to her house to get my cure going .... "jesus stepson of joseph" it was good. So hangover sorted i popped two painkillers into my mouth and i felt normal again. Then i went to the field again , we played again , we lost again and i got injured again after all this soccer playing shit i went home and had a wash. As i was washing i got a call from my friend Ashley asking me for his Pongraszc apparently i had promised to buy it for him while i was drunk .... lesson kids is " never make promises while you are drunk or happy " so i told him to Fuckk-off as i was drunk at the time. Then 20 minutes later i hear his hooter , so me and him had to make an appearance in a place called NY6 Eskhaleni well this is just a place where young kids and the so called youth that think they are relevant in the location hang even though they ain't got shit. So we started drinking Donkey urine again ( Castle Lite ) and i had a bottle of Vodka so again i was on my way to getting sloshed but luckily Ashley drinks ( Fun times ) ... so we chilled outside his car acting like Bosses but then again we had to leave as it was getting dark and a bit chilly so we hit Cash again. We arrived at cash to a heroes welcome shaking hands and shit from the door until we got to our other friends you would swear we were at a graduation ceremony and we were about to be given our degrees in partying and looking cool. same faces at cash sitting in the same places its like we were given a sitting plan of some sort because you always find the same people sitting in the same places week in week out. So as usual i get the stares and glares which i still dont get be it female or male my only sin was me wearing a straight cap with an American flag , so they started calling me a " A Dude " meaning i aint Hood enough for them ... like i give a rats ass, these virus infected individuals are busy acting rich while they getting poor all in the name of being Hood or being respected by people who dont give a damn when or where they will get their next meal. So i got on with the drinking until we left because i had work the next day and most of my drinking colleagues are not employed by a boss and they are self employed in Robin Hoods trade the only difference is that they never give to the poor. got home slept the long weekend away until i woke up for work.

being a social whore is some hard work .... check me now i feel bruised and battered as i had to keep up on all fronts of my social life. LONG LIVE TO ALL SOCIAL WHORES ........

Not smart at all ... spare of the moment writing....

havent written in a longtime, so much has happened in my life in the past year or so. the misery i have experianced at my place of employment arrrgh for fucks sake i hate it there but it pays the Bills. Let me think do i hate my job or do i hate my boss .... i hate my boss i wish her nothing but luck though as she is Cape coloured and she is over Forty. So in South Africa she is fucked as the goverment that took over from the whites in 1994 did not have a contingency plan for the coloured fokes of thisa country .... i might say Dream With No Hope but for the coloured community they live with no hope.

ow forget about the pain and enjoy the blessings of living , living in Cape Town is a blessing at times you meet and see the most amasing people at times ..... look Cape Town might not be a huge Economic Hub for most young people trying to make it but Cape Town is a place where you find the most Talented individuals in South Africa.

so this whole blog post was all in the name of just saying something at this exact time.......

WHEN

When my mind goes away, don’t blame me for the things say

When my mind goes astray, my mind feels scattered like ashes

In an ash stray….

When I try to fly away don’t hold me down, coz im only trying to find a way

When I move away don’t hold me back coz im only trying to find my own way

When I do pray, I pray that you will go away

When praying aint enough, I make sure the lord knows I tried enough

And when I come to the realization that there is no meaning to life,

Only then will I understand why being mean is so easy and it makes me

Feel at ease.

li_dwight

come to me.........

Come to me slowly, walk towards me slowly thread this path graciously, as if drawn to me by invisible
strings of a lovetime of chemistry. Come to me for Glory to be embellished with rice and spice and everything
nice..... don't you see it was i that you were created for, I who you yearned for , I who you cried for day in and day out.........

Come to me slowly, walk towards me slowly... silently carres these celestial floors with your demonic feet, like a Love Demon out to posses me. Come to me for Glory as you are showered with Bitter Black Custard, you are blinded and strangled by the stench of an unforgiving love that you were born to devour with all your
celestial senses.......

Come to me slowly, walk towards me slowly..... with your tears cracking up your cheeks sliding down from your eyes, an rest on my light caramel like skin, Come to me laugh with me, I appreciate the sound of a laughter that brings shear Bliss into my life...... As there is no Glory without Happiness and there is no Happiness without Glory.........

Cinder & Skylark | street style, street art, fashion: Friday 30 September, Cape Town

Cinder & Skylark street style, street art, fashion: Friday 30 September, Cape Town: Lebuo Makoetlane Music love: Lengoma - DJ Sbu Loves architecture and fashion Natasha Kay Music love: Where is here - Deadma...

The fear that binds me...........im just a boy.

These things happen all the time i tell you, thats what my mind tells me.But never have i been so scared of my fear. Oow Ghostly one , i fear you so much that i cannot think or do anything without fearing what your judgement would be . Even when i do no wrong i cannot defend myself from your degrading accusations as i feel and seem guilty as charged. i find that for me to be set free from the shackles that bind me in your judgemental eyes i have to apologies. But today i feel that saying sorry would be me saying sorry for being real.

i accept that i live under you my fear i live in your honour , i sometimes wonder what would life be with out you and the thoughts that do enter my mind are not as safe or as pleasant as being scared or terrified of you.I'm a boy on his last cry , ow my gosh did i just refer to myself as a boy in this world of strong men .Jesus i hope i dont regret what i'v just said in this world of dog eats dog/eat or be eaten.My fear you have made me lose myself in that i'v morphed my exterior to the picture that you'v moulded my inside to be OLD, WEARY,TERRIFIED.SCARED and SOULLESS.My fear i submit to you because i fear you.